The gloves are off now people, after ditching her soon-to-be ex husband, Ashley Cole, and tossing him out of their home Cheryl ‘ don’t call me Cole’ Tweedy is looking for a ’speedy’ divorce. Meanwhile the Chelsea star has been ducking and diving from all questions Cheryl related but is supposedly blaming the mum-in-law for his shenanigans…

It’s like a real live Eastenders-fest in in ‘Cheryl and Ashley land’ at moment (except there’s no crap acting involved), shots are flying off left, right and centre with Ashley ‘mobile phone’ Cole mostly on the receiving end – no pun intended.

Mrs Cole/Ms Tweedy is reportedly after a ‘quick divorce’ from the England and Chelsea star. The Girls Aloud singer is hoping to erase all traces of her husband, which includes that tattoo on the back of her neck saying ‘Mrs Cole’, in what seems to be a bid to start a new life. “Cheryl has not yet appointed a divorce lawyer but she is getting on with a new life,” a close friend explained ”She says she wants the divorce to go through as quickly as possible.”

Her friend also added that “She will not be fighting for a huge settlement. She just wants to get out fast so she can press on with life and move on.”

While the whole world seems to be behind ‘Team Cheryl’, ‘Team Ashley’ seems to be absent. However Ashley was spotted in the south west of France along with Chelsea team-mate Michael Essien who are both getting treated for injuries. When asked “How could you?” he responded by saying “I just can’t talk about that.”

However sources close to the Chelsea star are saying that he blames Cheryl’s mum. Friends of Ashley said that the ‘passion’ in their sex life was killed when mum-in-law Joan moved into their house, “It’s a bit of a passion killer to have your mum in the house” says Ashley’s pals. With all this fiasco going on even Ashley’s mum is throwing herself under the bus jumping into the fray by defending her son and trying to be peacemaker for the soon-to-be divorced husband and wife (yeah like anything you say is going to make her change the way she feels).

The moral of this story is “Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice shame on you”, or if you actually feel sorry for ‘poor’ Ashley (coughing sarcastically) all we can say is if you’re going to cheat please do a good job of covering it up so you don’t get caught. I guess the “It wasn’t me” line didn’t work on Cheryl, word to Shaggy and Eddie Murphy.

Tags: Ashley Cole, Cheryl Cole, Pop